


"Can we start over?"

by littlethimble



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Hank Anderson, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Caring Hank Anderson (Detroit: Become Human), Connor Deserves Happiness, Fluff and Angst, Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), M/M, Making Up, Protective Hank Anderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 22:30:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16458242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlethimble/pseuds/littlethimble
Summary: "The first few nights were Connor lying awake his back turned against Hank's,biting his nails feeling sweat accumulate from not moving from the same position over the long spans of time. His heart would beat hard and his gut flutter with butterflies, not understanding why he felt this way. He was just sharing a bed with an Android. But not just any Android..one he actually started to develop an attachment to.





	"Can we start over?"

It started with small and minor things. Connor caved in and let Hank into his life little by little.The minor things were dumb things like when Connor would order extra food for the two of them forgetting Hank didn't and couldn't eat,or offering him the occasional cigarette. As much as Hank hated them,knowing it wouldn't hurt him if it meant one less for Connor he never turned them down. He also let Hank borrow his clothes when his became filthy after the passing of days being out in the field,which was a very small selection because of their extreme sizing differences. One day Connor would go through his clothes playing dress up with Hank,having him try on clothes knowing fully that they'd be far too small for him,Connor would laugh half the time. Hank would sometimes catch Connor staring at him with the smallest of smirks as Hank admired and constantly adjusting the old band t-shirt of his,it stretched and clung weirdly onto his thicker frame. Connor actually started inviting him to bed at night. Hank argued he didn't need to sleep and should keep watch just in case the worst case scenario came along,Connor scoffed"You're always on edge,always in that damn authority state of mind bullshit. You need to retire for the night. Besides I don't want you out here alone." Connor said"Well I always have Sumo for company,why are you so concerned about me being alone all of a sudden?" Hank teased,raising his brow a little. Connor's cheeks became warm,he looked away shrugging,rubbing the back of his neck. Hank now knew he felt awkward, Connor was really the one who was more affected by being alone. He never knew the right words to say when asking without it sounding stupid. So after dumb arguments that lead nowhere Hank would give up and join him,Connor feeling a little victorious. The first few nights were Connor lying awake his back turned against Hank's,biting his nails feeling sweat accumulate from not moving from the same position over the long spans of time. His heart would beat hard and his gut flutter with butterflies, not understanding why he felt this way. He was just sharing a bed with an Android. But not just any Android..one he actually started to develop an attachment to. As much as he denies it to himself. Connor would start to tremble with anxiety over foolish rambled thoughts. Hank turned over and scanned his vitals"Are you having an anxiety attack Lieutenant?" Hank asked"No. I'm just..cold.." Connor scoffed shaking his head pulling the blanket closer to his chin. Hank sat up turning Connor on his back looking frightened at his action"Are you sure about that? Your body temperature is above normal and your heart rate had increased just now.." Hank prodded looming over Connor who shriveled under the covers more"I'm gonna go rinse off.". 

Connor had a sudden urge one day to become more touchy,as much as he hated that word. Connor lied more close to Hank,his head pressed against his back feeling his warmth on his cheek and he could hear his own body self sustaining sounds at work,it wasn't much different than a humans. He found himself often falling asleep to it. Hank felt so strange. The closeness of someone else was so unsettling, normally he wouldn't be affected by it but unsettlement was the common feeling. Connor in his sleep would creep his cold hand into Hank's shirt his hand resting on his hip,Hank could feel his face heat up unexpectedly and he'd tense up a little. Touch. Skin against skin. Was it the touch itself that startled him or his cold hand. Curiosity struck Hank.

 

_Software instability._

 

When Connor would lie further away some nights usually he'd come to bed late after being out at the bar at later hours and pass out where he'd lay,Hank took it as an opportunity,he'd scoot closer and wrap an arm around Connor and Connor instinctively would turn over and tuck his head under his chin slinging his arm over Hank's hip. Why did this feel so weird yet right at the same time. Hank feeling overwhelmed would break away waking Connor up"Wh--what's up?" He asked his voice groggy rubbing his eyes"I'm gonna go on the couch.".  
Hank started to develop an emotion. Something like happiness and nervousness every time he'd be around Connor,somewhere in his chest he'd feel a flutter that made him feel almost something what being felt like sick. Hank was overprotective as it was but it started to increase at the thought of outcomes when they were out in the field.Just Connor getting hurt or killed frightened Hank,being alone and losing his partner was something he never thought about,he was too focused on catching the bad guys it made him feel guilty. After days of self checking himself on the daily he finally found out what he was feeling.

 

_Software instability._

 

He sat with Connor at the table watching him eat and smoke reading something involving work related subjects"Connor?" Hank asked Connor humming in response"Connor,I think I might love you.."Connor choked on his cigarette smoke sending him into a coughing fit"What the fuck do you mean by that?!" He asked his voice strained by an oncoming cough"I don't know how else to describe it.." Hank said his voice dropping to a more serious tone. Connor stared at him in disbelief he didn't know if he should laugh"Hank.."Connor began,he felt his gut twist and the heat erode in his face,he put his cigarette out in the ashtray watching it crumble"I don't think I quite understand.”Connor noticed Hank's LED frequently change from between red and yellow. Fuck. Connor ran his hands over his face"Hank I think you're confused." he said softly and pained,he felt conflicted. It felt wrong,it felt wrong to love something back that wasn't human. Nothing more than a computer in disguise of a person. It just couldn't work. Besides Connor was the most disappointing person to love. Someone had to be completely dumb to actually love Connor"You're confused,Hank. You got this mixed up. Y'know maybe we could find you a nice girl?" Connor said chuckling out nervous habit"You think this is funny Connor? Trust me I know what I'm talking about I self checked myself daily! I don't want anyone else I want you.." Hank argued his voice raising in volume pointing his finger into the table. Connor started to become a little scared"Okay how about you calm down a little." He said gesturing with his hands"Can you explain to me why you feel like this? When did this start?"Hank's LED flashed red as he tried to think, new emotions arose his stress level rising and corrupting his thought process”I couldn't say for sure,but I like being close to you,the thought of losing you…scares me.” Hank thought he saw a red barrier flash before his eyes, separating him and Connor”It scares me.” Hank said his voice wavering his LED solid red.  
Connor knew something was wrong he got up moving around to Hank's side of the table. He must be deviating. Connor felt himself go into a panic"Hank you need to relax. Your stress level is rising we need to bring that back down,okay?" Connor said trying to sound reassuring. Hank rubbed his forehead his eyes becoming glassy,staring blankly at the table unresponsive. Connor slapped Hank across his face kicking him back into his senses"Stop it Hank you're starting to scare me!" He blurted his eyes filling with tears,Hank stared up at him in shock tears escaping his eyes,it didn't hurt but he thought that he could for a second. Hank extended his hand to caress his,Connor almost instantly pushing him away,he walked off grabbing his jacket"Where are you going?" Hank asked watching Connor slip on his shoes”Connor,wait! Fuck!" Hank pleaded shooting up from his chair knocking it over,Connor whipped around pointing his finger at him"Don't you fucking move that's an order!" Connor said finally closing the door quite harshly behind him.  
__**Don't move.  
** DON'T MOVE.  
SOFTWARE INSTABILITY.  
Hank stiffened his fists clenching.  
He saw the red barrier appear again separating him from the door,he placed his hands on it pushing his weight into it,the barrier started to crack. He backed up and with one swift kick shattering it. Hank ran to the door ripping it open. Running out into the street catching up with Connor before he walked onto the bus,grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him out. Hank held him by the shoulders soon pulling him into a desperate hug"Please don't go.." Hank begged. He felt Connor's body jerk with a gasp and a sniffle,Connor grabbed onto him tightly shoving his face into his neck"I'm so fucking sorry,I'm so fucking sorry..".

 

_I’m a Deviant._

 

Connor felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier with every shot he swallowed and slammed on top of the counter. It was a day after the incident,he left early without Hank for work and hit the bar afterwards. Gavin had the nerve to ask about Hank while at the station,getting every chance to insult him and Hank. Connor prayed for the day when he had an excuse just to beat his ass.  
It was now 11:45 PM. Connor needed to spend a day without Hank,he felt the dread of guilt on his back. He needed to clear his mind. He belched a little feeling his cheeks starting to warm. Reaching into back pocket of his jeans taking out his wallet and throwing whatever cash and change he had on him,caring less if he gave the bartender a little more than usual. He stumbled out into the streets the cold making his breath seize,the rain poured hard soaking him in minutes. His memory was foggy next he was in a taxi most likely and unfortunately headed towards home with notion of that Hank awaited his return. Connor wondered if he forgave him for his outburst,or Connor leaving him behind. He felt the vehicle jerk to a complete stop,making his elbow slip from under his chin making him hit his temple on the side of the door. He cursed harshly under his breath. He paid for the charge fee. Feeling a little embarrassed he was a couple bucks short. Connor struggled to slip the key into the lock he blinked hard a few times hoping his vision would clear"Fucking A. Come on you fucker!" He said rattling the handle. Sumo started up in a barking fit at the sound,the door swung open Connor was coldy greeted by the towering Android"You know it's kinda shitty leaving without an explanation and being gone early 17 hours.." Connor scoffed and pushed past Hank"Don't remind me.."Connor stumbled into the hallway wall,Hank was right there by his side to help him regain his footing, Connor shoved away with hostility"I got it! Fuckin' shit.." He snapped back slurring his words,he felt his mind spin making his stomach turn. He took a second to sit on the floor until the sickness stopped"Connor you're drunk off your ass,let alone you fail to even walk a straight line. Let me help you." Hank said pulling Connor back onto his feet a little too fast"F-fuck off,you--!" Connor protested putting up a lame fight,Hank slung his arm over his shoulder and wrapped one hand around his waist. Connor's knees buckled with every step on the way to his room. Hank helped Connor sit on his bed,even going the extra mile to remove his shoes and jacket. He went for his shirt but Connor slapped his hands away"I got it,I got it!". Hank felt irritation for a split of a second"Get some rest." Hank said finally easing Connor on his side and pulling a blanket over him,which Connor didn't argue with.

 

In a few hours Connor sprung up feeling the wash of sickness fall upon him and the cold sweats staring up,his stomach turned and this throat tightened. He threw the covers off quickly racing to the door stumbling out into the hallway. Connor stopped at the bathroom door feeling the blood drain from his face his vision starting to darken and shrink at the edges,his hearing subdued and now replaced by ringing. He felt panic and fear prick at his senses"Ha--Hank?" He called out. Not too soon after he was throwing up bile on the wall and carpet. Hank got up to investigate feeling a little anxiety settle in,by the sound of Connor's voice he didn't sound right. Hank walked into the hallway finding Connor on the floor slumped against the bathroom door by a puddle of vomit to his right"Jesus Christ,Connor!" He exclaimed quickly by Connor's side"I gotcha.."He leaned him up against a wall and opening the door up,knowing that he couldn't just put him back to bed as the way he was Hank decided to be sensible and run a small bath for him. He probably hasn't bathed in awhile anyway. He allowed him to finish throwing up in the toilet,he didn't wanna clean up anymore puke in odd places. Connor reached up weakly to flush the rest of his contents,he flipped the lid down and rested his cheek on it,the coolness felt nice against his hot and clammy skin. Hank sat him up on to the side of the tub and continued to help him out of his soiled clothes"I think I might've pissed myself.." Connor said chuckling weakly"Yeah I know now.."Hank responded his voice slightly disgusted. Hank tipped Connor's face up so he could examine him,his skin was peaked better showing off his every freckle,his eyes were red and glazed over, and dark circles more prominent. Connor gave him a feeble smile,Hank felt a little disturbed he hated seeing him like this,it was painful and just plain sad. Hank sighed pulling Connor into a tight hug"Don't do this to yourself,it's not only hurting you it's hurting me too,Connor." Connor felt himself choke up soon tears started to spew,he hugged him back stifling back sobs"I'm so tired,Hank! I'm tired of trying,I'm tired of being so angry all the time,I'm so fucking tired of waking up every morning. I'm so fucking sick and tired of being so sick and tired!" Connor blurted,his words barely distinguishable. Hank felt heartbreak for someone he deeply cared for was literally falling apart in his arms,he pulled away to look at Connor. His nose ran and his cheeks were red and tear stained. Hank wiped the young man's face with his sleeve,he cupped his face and placed and hesitant kiss on his cheek,Connor sniffled and hiccupped feeling comfort wash over him. In silence Hank continued to bathe,dry,and clothe Connor helping him slipping one arm into the next sleeve of his shirt. Exhaustion had finally settled in for Connor as he fell in and out of consciousness,Hank was done just in time he eased him back down again and pulling the covers over him. Sumo actually decided to join Connor in bed as he laid by his feet his head resting on his legs. Hank watched as Connor's eyes slowly blink and flutter shut,he stood up only to be stopped in his tracks by a hand grabbing onto his wrist"Stay,please?" Connor quietly asked,Hank obliged circling around and carefully crawling into bed. He laid his back against Connor's. He felt him turn over and scoot close resting his forehead against his back his hand slipping into Hank's shirt,fingertips cold Connor's hand rested against the Android's rib cage,his thumb softly stroking the small area of skin"Thank you,Hank.." Connor said finally before falling asleep in the next few minutes.

 

Connor laid on the floor of his living room,the blinds parted ajar letting the warm sunlight flood in. It was one of the more sunnier days of November on rare occasions of course. It was nice to bask in the sun without the commitment of going outside into the cold. Hank studied Connor's face as he lie eyes shut and invested into his music that was something loud and intense with a perfect balance of the use of the lyrics. It was loud enough to be heard from his headphones that's a fact. Connor had completely forgotten about that night only bits and pieces,he forgot about the break down he had,the major thing he took back from that night was a killer migraine. That morning he asked Hank what happened that night,he never gave him a direct answer. Connor felt the dread that maybe something bad happened"What? Was it bad? That why you're a little pissy today?"Connor said in an poor attempt to lighten the mood,Hank gave him silence in response. Connor had the sudden feeling of being watched which ended up being true when he opened up one of his eyes to see Hank staring at him as he sat on the couch with Sumo's head in his lap. He smirked and closed his eyes again. Curiosity got the best of Hank. He slipped from under Sumo walking over and kneeling beside Connor only to remove his headphones and put them on himself,not giving the Lieutenant a chance to protest. Hank listened to the instrumental filled music,almost poetic lyrics sung by a gruff boisterous voice"I like this!" Hank said his voice loud trying to talk over the music"Can't say I'm surprised,you're too predictable." Connor said sitting up on his elbows"What?!" Hank boomed soon smirking"Never mind." Connor rolled his eyes. Knowing he won't be getting his headphones back any time soon took out an extra pair connecting it to the Bluetooth. He could get used to this,finally something they both agreed to. And not a peep from each other's mouths. He lied back down the Android soon mimicking him,out of the corner of his eye he could see Hank's LED flash yellow, soon catching onto the beat and rhythm he tapped his fingers on the floor underneath him trying to match to every sound he heard. Connor smiled a little closing his eyes continuing on to his original track of deep thought. Their hands were close in proximity their fingers tapping away and their feet moving slightly to the music. Hank couldn't help but replay the night before in his head. He hated that Connor acts like it never happened completely unaffected. He sat up giving Connor a shake"What now?" He asked with annoyance in his voice as he removed his headphones"Do you want to know what really happened last night?" Hank began,Connor felt his stomach drop feeling paralyzed but still managed to sit up right"You were hostel,you vomited everywhere in the hall and fucking pissed yourself for Christ sake,and I had to clean it up and bathe you.Then you had a full blown mental break down,and you act like it never happened. So yeah maybe that's why I'm a little pissed off today." Hank said sounding unintentionally cold"I'm sorry Connor but you're unbelievably selfish,you're reckless  
you don't care if you live or die. You put yourself in the worst situations and everyone else has to clean up after you. I feel fucking exhausted Connor."Hank looked over at Connor who was on the brink of tears,he breathed deeply his throat dry and the lump that formed extended the discomfort.Connor felt like he had the rudest wake up call in the history of wake up calls,his chest ached like he took a blow to his core. If anyone else told him what Hank said he would've blown them off,but it hurt so goddamn bad when it came from someone he looked up to and wanted to make them proud,the one he'd least expect it from. Reality struck him when the thought of how his actions affected Hank,God knows what he was thinking and planning on doing "Hank, if you're thinking on going back to Cyberlife. I'm not stopping ya,but Amanda will deactivate you because of me. I cannot let that happen.You're all I have left.." Connor said sounding hopeless. Hank grabbed Connor pulling him into a tight hug running his hands through his brown hair,Connor had a firm grip on his shirt"I swear to God I'm gonna do better I promise,I promise." Connor whispered his voice breaking.  
Hank felt doubts arose in him about Connor but he wanted to give him a chance,he dearly wanted him to try he didn't want to see him fail,he just wanted him to be okay"Thank you,Connor.." Hank responded. Connor shook his head"No,no thank you."They both pulled away to look at each other, Connor stared up at Hank into his blue eyes,tucking a piece of white hair away from his face,he took a moment to admire his older and tired but undeniably kind features. Connor's line of vision kept redirecting itself to Hank's lips,the Android watched Connor's dark eyes flicker to the other parts of his face than his eyes,he felt his cheeks warm they glowed blue subtly. Hank couldn't help but notice how Connor's eyes looked like in the sun,he compared it to amber and honey. They leaned in close the heat of each other's presence increased, he couldn't tell if it was the warm sun that shone in the living room. Connor's heart beat hard his stomach becoming full of butterflies. They were rudely interrupted by Sumo coming in between them his tail wagging hard hitting them both with a blunt force,licking their faces covering them in slobber. Connor groaned with annoyance but gave Sumo and hug and a scratch behind the ears,Hank did the same. They both chuckled softly. 

 

In a few weeks everything felt okay now. It was still nights of sleeping in close proximity. Tension had passed now and Connor was hugging Hank close their foreheads touching while they slept soundly,well mostly Connor did the sleeping. Hank still borrowed clothes. He liked to wake up and stare at Connor while he slept,he never seen him more peaceful when he was sleeping. Slow steady breathing. Hank really wanted to share a piece of himself with him. But what? His heart if he could. His commitment, bravery,and undying loyalty. He removed his hand from Connor's back to tuck a piece of brown hair out of his face carefully slipping his hand back to its original placement. The hair falling back into it original spot anyway due to the curse of his permanent cowlick. Hank closed his eyes he slipped into sleeping mode. He slowly awoke,an hour exactly before  
Connor,which he looked over at him who was on his back to his left still in a deep sleep. Hank slowly sat up continuing to stare at Connor,he got on his knees crawled towards him placing a hand on the bed by side of his head. He felt silly that he thought Connor in his eyes was one of the most beautiful people he's encountered. Inside and out,even if his habits were bad and inside he was broken and the outside wasn't neat or presentable.But it was good enough to Hank. It was perfect to Hank. He watched Connor's mouth as it parted slightly a breath escaping. Such curiosity surrounding his lips,how they curled like a permanent smirk at the corners. Hank leaned in closer,he wasn't sure what he was doing but deep down he knew why. He tipped his slightly to the side closing his eyes.He felt a hand traveling up his chest making him draw in a tiny gasp,it settled on the side of his face followed by a second one on the other. Hank was almost afraid to open his eyes. He was pulled in closer and lips met. The kiss deepend. It was hesitant and farouche,soft and sorrowful. It was long awaited. This felt so weird and foreign,being able to share with someone in this way. Connor pondered on the recurring question. What were they? Who was he to him? A friend? A partner? A lover? What was he? But he wanted him.  
Their tongues laced he tastes real.  
Connor placed a hand on Hank's throat,a pulse brought a promise of authenticity.  
He feels so real.To taste him,curing the necessitating yearn. Connor parted for a second to catch his breath that came out more like a whimper,Connor caught his fingers into Hank's hair undoing it that was held back by a hair tie,his hair was extremely wavy and curly from it being held back for so long. He pulled him back into the kiss It was slightly ravenous and eager their tongues grazed teeth.They broke away to look at each other,Hank felt his face warm it having the shyest shade of blue on his cheeks,his mouth splotched in white from contact that shrunk down to its original color”One more..” Connor asked as he tipped his head to the side again preparing for another kiss. Hank took a hold of Connor's face French kissing him hard and long,trailing the kisses down his face and neck his thumb pressed against his lips,Connor's skin was hot against Hank's mouth,he felt a strong lust and love for the young man it was such a intoxicating feeling. He backed off and hugged him tightly squeezing his eyes shut”Can we start over?" He asked his voice hushed,Connor sat both of them up,he held Hank by the sides of his arms”Let's start over.." Connor said his voice gentle and subdued,Hank smiled rubbing Connor's cheek,his face pinching up when he smiled back. Connor leaned into the touch closing his eyes. Kisses on each other's cheeks were shared and a tight embrace”Do you wanna listen to some music?” Connor asked his head resting on Hank's shoulder,he nodded nuzzling his head closer to Connor’s”I'd like that a lot.” Hank agreed planting a kiss on Connor's head.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone I really hope you enjoyed my first fic posted to AO3!!  
> If you enjoy my writing please let me know! I plan on posting so much more,enjoy the fic and thank you for your time reading this! :'^)


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